We all have those days don't we?  An overly human moment.  A moment we're not proud of.

Tonight it was with my kids.  It seemed like not a single one of them was listening to me......not doing what I asked, showing little respect......lollygagging in the bath, not getting their toothbrush, and on, and on and on.  And I lost it.

I'm not proud of it, but I lost it!

I wrote a quick text to my friend Kristi sharing my outburst and exclaiming that I'm not winning any mother of the year award any time soon.  And she sent me an email she saved for such a time as this.  It was a blog post from Inspired to Action giving 8 verses to inspire us to be patient mothers.  It was just what I needed.  Definitely verses I need to plaster all over my house as a reminder.

As I got to the bottom of the email, it mentioned a post by Ann Voscamp, "Why is it so hard to be patient?"  Also some good content and things to remember as mothers.  Ann is a talented writer and has a way of sharing Christ with beautiful words.  I've heard so many wonderful things about her book, One Thousand Gifts.  I haven't read it myself, but I need to.  It's on the list!

I then decided to see what her most recent blog post was.  Today's post, "What to do when I feel like a loser?"   which inspired my blog title for today and spoke greatly to me.  Funny where a chain of reading can take you!!


In case you don't get a chance to read it, let me just quote a few lines that made me pause or spoke volumes after my very human moment.




That made me giggle just a bit.


Ugh, amen!


Probably my biggest fear! I don't want my kids to remember me as a tyrant, forever scarred by my words.  I want them to see Christ in me!!

"In one wild moment, my disordered desires can betray how quickly I can lose my God-orientation."


Amen, amen, amen!!


Amazing!  I love that!!

Have you had those moments you are not so proud of?  I hope you'll find encouragement in this today too!!

My sweet boy did go to bed telling me I am the best mom he's ever had!!  How sweet is that?!

Right before that, I did tell him he could wear his new Iron Man costume to school tomorrow for Spirit Week that he picked out to wear for his birthday (that is not until June!). 

Maybe a little making up for a bad attitude on my part!

I left quite a downer of a blog post hanging on there all week.  Sorry about that!
In my defense I had one sick Karis-girl on my hands this week.  We had our first big sickness of 2012!

Have I mentioned that we've been a part of a new International Church start?  We've been meeting with about 9-10 other families at Jeremy & Kristi's home while we look for a location to rent and expand.


This past Sunday we tried out a new facility and I think Karis picked up the nasty tummy bug there.  Her and 2 other kids from our group woke up during the night throwing up.  I stayed with Karis on the couch all night and Monday she had a fever.  I ended up keeping her home for 3 days.  She was better by Tuesday, but it left her with no desire to eat.  I kept her home Wednesday, to get some more food in her and build her strength up.  She's good now.  Her tummy shrunk so she's not eating quite as much.  I'm sure my little eating machine will be back to her normal eating self soon.
Now it's Saturday and Reegan has fallen with it.  Here's hoping and praying Brennan doesn't get it!!

Back to my downer post, I'm good.  Don't we all have those days from time to time?

Sometimes I question if I should share such personal details, but ya know, maybe it will help someone else.  I still think of a dear, now retired couple I knew in Russia.  They lived overseas for 30 years.  She was the sweetest thing and loved on the nationals, but she hated Russia.  I always admired her for her honesty and great attitude, peppered with wit and humor about life in Russia.

Our being in Vienna is not about me, visa issues, culture or anything but knowing that we're in the will of God.  Did He promise us good times all the time?  No.  He did promise to love us and not forsake us.  And even when we might feel forsaken (I'm just saying that for those who might, I'm not feeling that way in Vienna) God is there.  Maybe He is trying to teach us something or wanting us to draw closer to Him.  The big question is how are we going to respond?  I hope I'll always use times like this to seek Him and grow through the circumstances!

And now let me leave you with a few of my favorite photos that Jerry took for Eli's party (Kristi's big boy that turned 3) last weekend!

"I'm first!"


"No, I'm first!"

This is a constant battle between the kids.  I remembered a tip from a friend and established a calendar for everyone to have a "first" day.   Had I not done this, insanity would have continued!
Ok, insanity still ensues, but by implementing this maybe we've lessened it a bit!  Ha!

Basically every three days the kids have a "first" day.  They get to pick their favorite plate, hit the buttons for the elevator, be first in line to brush their teeth or first to play on the computer, pick a show on tv, or what have you.

Some days of the month will just be a free for all.  We'll have to see how that plays out when the time comes.  I decided to make a chart assigning their days.  I planned on making a chart on the computer, but due to still updating some things on my new computer, that I got for Christmas, I couldn't do that.  So, I did a nifty handwritten version.  It's crooked and uneven, but the kids started sprucing it up with stickers they got for Valentine's Day.  Not too bad!
We'll see how this continues, but it seems to be working alright.

It got me thinking about our walk with the Lord and reminded me about a billboard I'd seen in the Fort Worth area 2 years ago when we were on our stateside assignment in Texas.

It simply said "IAmSecond.com."

Being the very curious person that I am I went straight home and checked the website.  If you haven't seen this website, I suggest you take some time to check it out.  Once I realized what this was I was shocked, amazed and excited that this billboard was all over the place.  Testimonies of how God has touched the lives of authors, actors, athletes, singers, soldiers, theologians and more.  Some of the people on there were such a surprise to me and how God had touch their lives!  And I really enjoyed the testimony of the 11 year old actress, Bailee Madison.  What a sweet, sweet girl!

As much as we need order in our lives by creating "first" day  it is also a reminder to me how important it is for us to teach our kids that it's not always about being first.

Dear Lord help me as I teach my children to make YOU, Christ first in their lives.

WE are second!

  "Mom, can you get the ketchup?"

"Mom, can you get my clothes?"


"Mom, I need salt?"


"Mom, I need more toilet paper!"

"Mom, you didn't put my socks on right!"


"Mom, you need to put my shoes on!"

When my son said to me " YOU get my water." the other day I got to thinking about my role as a mom.  How often I feel like a waitress or a maid or a taxi cab driver.

Just so you know, I didn't get his water.  I made him get it!

It is really important to me for my kids to learn independence.  Of course I'm going to help each of my kids when they need it, but when I KNOW they can do something I want to encourage them to do it.

But then I got to thinking about servanthood.  Am I being a servant to my children?  Honestly, that word makes me cringe sometimes, does it you?

Didn't Jesus show servant leadership?   Why yes, he did!

Wow!  Am I showing servant leadership to my kids??  I can honestly say "not always."  I probably come across as a tyrant most days when they talk back or do something they know they shouldn't do, like marking on the entertainment center, jumping off the bunk bed, peeing on the couch or using a ton of soap when washing their hands.

The Lord gave me a little lesson through my son.  The importance of being a servant to my children while teaching them to be respectful.  Does the respect not come from servant leadership?!  Hmmm, I guess it probably does.

Have I done a 180 and instantly changed?  Unfortunately, no.  What can I say, I'm a work in progress!  But it made an impression on me and with the Lord's help I can begin to work towards an attitude of servant leadership in my home.

Can I get an "Amen?!"

.......and an update on our visas to Spain.

Maybe everybody feels this way, but the Lord seems to always be dealing with me in the area of patience.  I guess He doesn't think I've learned my lesson yet.  Ha!
I think back to when I was a kid and feeling that the Lord was calling me to ministry, but also getting no clear direction in the way He was leading.  Maybe He knew, at that age, I would be saying "No way am I moving to another country!"  Ha!  But I felt it was clear that He was wanting me to wait on Him for the big reveal and where He was leading me.
I remember the desire to get married and waiting on the Lord............at the ripe old age of 22 I got married.  Yeah, I was young. what can I say!  And to think I was getting old, ugh!  Oh my, was I ever young! 
If you've read much of my blog you know we waited a long time for our kids.  We first decided to wait to start a family (for 5 years) and then discovered our infertility and it took another 6 years before Karis entered our home.  Talk about a hefty dose of learning patience!
Then we waited 2 years before we could take Karis to the US due to the way we decided to adopt her (well, on the US side we didn't adopt her, we immigrated her).  Then a long wait in the US due to the US embassy in Prague giving us the incorrect visa.  That one almost caused us to have to take a leave of absence with our organization, but we got the much needed paperwork just in time to make Karis a citizen of the US and apply for the much needed passport to return to Czech Republic.  More stress diverted, thank you Lord! 

I should have known that God was not done with me yet!
Here we are now waiting on this, what seems like an eternity, visa process to get to Spain!!
I had all these ideas that maybe since we've already had a visa in an EU (and Schengen) country that the process would be quicker.  Or the fact that we have an EU member in the family.  Big, fat NOPE!!  Doesn't seem to matter one bit!!

People keep asking me if we've made it Spain yet or where we are in the process.  We've hardly moved!  We are STILL in the beginning stages.  Of course we weren't aware of what all was needed for this process.  We DID know that we would have to have birth certificates and our marriage license, but they also need to be apostilled.  Ok, takes some time but we can do that.  Ok, we have to have doctor's notes that we have no infectious diseases.  Ok, the kids just had a check up a couple of months ago and we can get ours done, no problem.
The one we weren't anticipating was the police report.  Ok, not really a big deal in Czech Republic.  Until I started looking closer at the specifics of the request on the visa application.  We needed to include a police report from each city that we have lived in for at least 6 months during the last 5 years.  Ok, so that means we needed to include Fort Worth, TX.  Alright, so we looked into that.  Oh. My. Word!   It is easier to get a police report in a foreign country than it is in the state of Texas?!  What?!!
To get a copy of our police record in the State of Texas we must provide a copy of our FINGERPRINTS!  Ugh!  And not only that, but they must be an a specific fingerprint card that they specify!!  Argh!! 
So, all this time we have been working with our contact who helps us with our Czech visas to see if she could find out where to get fingerprints done.  She doesn't even know!!  It is possible to get a notarized letter from the US Embassy stating that we do not have a police record in the US, but we are not sure if they will accept that.  So, we went ahead and paid the money to have those accompany the application.
Once we get the applications filled in and all the documents translated into Spanish THEN we can hand them over to the Spanish Embassy in Prague to await the verdict if they will indeed allow us a visa.  That could take anywhere from 3 weeks to 2 months.  Not so bad compared to what we've heard as far as the process goes when applying from the US.
It was our desire to be in Spain by about now.  It is best if we can apply for school in April, but we won't be able to if we aren't able to give a Spanish address.  The other concern is that our visas for the Czech Republic run out at the end of June.  We'll either have to apply for some type of extension to our Czech visas or vacate to a non-Schengen country to await our visa to Spain.    The closest non-Schengen country is the UK.  I wouldn't mind hanging out there for awhile, but that's not really ideal.

So, there ya have it.  The Lord most definitely must not be done with me in the area of patience.  Or He just doesn't think I'm getting it!  Ha!