Expat to Expat Q & A

Happy Autumn Monday morning from England!  I'm linking up this morning to:

We're answering 2 questions about our expat identity.

How do you fit in to your new culture without losing some of your identity? 

I've been around expats that felt you needed to completely immerse yourself in a place, it's culture, it's language and I agree to a certain extent.  I believe there needs to be a balance.  The country we're in, the people we're around know that we've come from another country.  They know that we will never completely be one of them.  When I first came overseas I felt pressured to completely immerse and be Russian.  I was fine with buying a Russian coat (cause they are REALLY warm!) 

Our Russian wear circa 2000, Kremlin Wall, Moscow Russia

and boots, learning the language and eating Russian food (it's not all so bad), but my Americanisms came through no matter what.  Instead of trying so hard to be so much like them I embraced a somewhat Russian lifestyle while sharing my home country with them.  I knew people that wouldn't shop at the expensive American grocery store and pay $8 for peanut butter.  It wasn't because they didn't or couldn't pay the prices.  They just felt they needed to be "Russian."  I was more of the mindset that if it makes you feel better to pay $8 for peanut butter, then go for it!  It doesn't mean you aren't embracing the culture.  It just means you need some reminders of home every once in awhile.  And that's ok too!!  I found that Russians enjoyed that we were Americans and wanted to learn about our culture too.  I'd make things like banana bread and chocolate chip cookies and they always loved it!

Now we're in England and it is quite different from Russia or the 3 other countries we've lived in between.  I've still continued with a mindset of having a balance between cultures.  I am and will always be American but I'm learning and embracing an English way of living too.  I may be cooking shepherds pie from time to time, but I am making Tex-Mex as well as Spanish Paella and other things I've come to love from our other "homes."

What do you think your biggest trigger for homesickness is?

This has been different in each place that we've lived.  Right now, the thing that's triggered it for me has been conversations with English people about America.  So far, my experience has been that many English love America.  Just about as much as Americans love the UK!  I know not all English do and I'm happy that those that don't have not told me otherwise.  I've had shop workers (yes, more than once) just stare at me when I ask for something and I wonder what I'm doing or saying wrong (I'm not in a place like London that has lots of foreigners, so it is different than the big cities)! Then I find that they're caught up in my accent.  They begin telling me how much they love the US or ask why I'd want to live here and not there!  Or, when a new friend asked if the culture in the movie "High School Musical" is really how it is in America.  Then I went on to tell her the traditions at high school football and basketball games.  Just talking about it makes me miss the things they find so fascinating.

The other trigger is missing big events in the family.  I can't tell you how many weddings and funerals we've missed because of being abroad.  I always ache to be there with our loved ones.  Luckily, we have very understanding families who know how difficult and expensive it is to travel back.

These have been great topics for me to think about and share and will be interested to see the answers of other expats around the globe!  Have a happy Monday!!